Exploring Bondage
What is Bondage
Wikipedia lists Bondage as : Bondage, in the BDSM subculture, is the practice of consensually tying, binding, or restraining a partner for erotic, aesthetic, or somatosensory stimulation. A partner may be physically restrained in a variety of ways, including the use of rope, cuffs, bondage tape, or self-adhering bandage.
Bondage itself does not necessarily imply sadomasochism. Bondage may be used as an end in itself, as in the case of rope bondage and breast bondage. It may also be used as a part of sex or in conjunction with other BDSM activities. The letter “B” in the acronym “BDSM” comes from the word “bondage”. Sexuality and erotica are an important aspect in bondage, but are often not the end in itself. Aesthetics also plays an important role in bondage.
Now, if words like “submission,” “sadism,” or “masochism” are new to you, I totally get it. For many, especially those who’s knowledge of BDSM stems purely from films like Fifty Shades, the practice may sound intimidating at first. But it is possible to combine sex, power, and even pain in a healthy manner, as long as all involved are communicative and explicitly provide their active consent. Bondage has been a fixture of erotic novels and art for centuries, from Rembrandt’s Andromeda Chained to the Rocks in 1630, through to the release of Fifty Shades of Grey which took the publishing world by storm in 2013, bondage has certainly gone mainstream in the last few years.
When people hear Bondage or BDSM, they tend to associate it with general sadism. BDSM can, in fact, be sweet, fulfilling, and creative. There is responsibility involved, and trust, what gets lost is the understanding, effort, and responsibility that comes with being a Dominant or the simultaneous control and vulnerability that comes with being a submissive.
Have you ever thought about tying your partner up with rope? Or being tied up yourself? It’s a kink that more people than you’d probably think are interested in trying. But as intriguing as the thought of bondage is, it can also be pretty scary.
There are so many questions when you first start out. What kind of rope do you get? What body parts are okay to tie up? Is it possible to seriously hurt your partner (or get hurt yourself)? How do you tell your partner what you do and don’t want to try? And what happens if you do it wrong?
A staggering 100 million copies of the Fifty Shades trilogy were sold worldwide, allowing countless women to indulge in sexual fantasies about BDSM that they might not otherwise have owned up to: suddenly, S&M was everywhere. In fact, the movie made the move so popular sales of the spreader bar sex toy sold out after Fifty Shades Darker hit cinemas and viewers witnessed that erotic scene between Christian and Ana.
Communication is key
Embarking upon a new sexual adventure makes talking about what’s going on more important than ever. “Let them know if you’re feeling uncomfortable, and ask how they’re doing periodically,” Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., Astroglide’s resident sexologist, tells SELF. It might also be a smart idea to come up with a safe word, which is a word or phrase either of you can say when you need a time out from the intensity.
Latex Bondage
There are different reasons that people might be attracted to rubber and latex clothing and accessories. For starters, it’s incredibly tight, so there is an element of bondage at play. The skintight nature can also give the wearer the feeling that they are naked. The constant contact with skin is also highly pleasurable. And finally, a lot of rubberists report being attracted to the distinct smell of latex and rubber. A lot of latex and rubber clothing is made with chemicals designed to enhance the natural smell.
So aside from being shiny and sexy as hell, what else does latex have to offer in a BDSM scene? I’m lucky enough to own some classic pieces of latex bondage equipment that you might be curious to try in a session with me. People are often keen to try latex but aren’t sure where to start or what options might be available when contacting me to arrange a booking. So I thought it would be ideal to write a brief primer on some of my beloved latex bondage equipment.
The first wonderful piece I purchased for my collection is my wicked inflatable latex body bag. It is custom made by an excellent Australian designer and latex craftsman. It is essentially a body bag shaped latex bladder, comprised of two sheets of latex forming the bladder around your entire body from the neck down. Once you hop into the bag and relax into the feeling of being totally cocooned by delicious rubber, not to mention my touch enhancing the experience, it’s time to inflate the bag. I use a compressor to fill the layer between the latex sheets with air via a small valve. As it fills up, your body is gently but firmly compressed by the inflation. Once it is totally full and you feel very restricted, you might be lucky enough to find me removing the rubber covers over your nipples and genitals to torment and tease you. There’s scope for anal play too, with a zip giving me handy access to your backside. My playmates tend to float into subspace for hours inside this bag. It’s even been described as meditative by some. This bag is ideal for sensory deprivation experiences as well as longer sessions. There are many different types of rubber and latex clothing on the market. They come in different thicknesses, so if you’re worried about how you’ll look in rubber, don’t worry, there is a style for you! Rubber can be very flattering, so shop around to find your style. Remember that thinner rubber has more stretch to it, but it’s also more likely to tear, so be careful with sharp jewellery and nails.
Rubber and latex accessories are also a great way to get a little kinky without buying a whole new wardrobe. Or, if you don’t fancy shimmying your way into a rubber suit. Toys like butt plugs or every bondage masks made of latex are a cheeky way to introduce rubber into your life.
Bondage, trust and safe words
Contrary to popular belief, the Submissive is never truly out of control.
Many people assume that a Dominant makes demands and orders at all times. Yes, this may happen once the relationship has been established and there is an understanding within the dynamic. [But] there is a large element of trust that needs to be built within a relationship with a power dynamic. Even when ‘forced’ to do something, it should be on the Submissive’s own free will. There should always be an out, exit, or safe words available.
BDSM is all about placing your trust in another person. Submissives often take on the role of surrendering control to their Dominant. That said, in a healthy BDSM relationship, Subs will ultimately decide when to start and stop. Carefully selected mechanisms, like safe words, provide the Submissive with control and agency.
Private or Public
For some people, it’s an incredibly private pursuit and they might enjoy it in the privacy of their own home, but others are far more sociable in their love of latex. Fetish events and sex parties are the ideal places to share your love of latex with other people in a non-threatening environment. Some people will also wear rubber items in their everyday life. Some people wear rubber underwear under their everyday attire, and others will wear rubber clothing out in public. Rubberists may also find themselves aroused by everyday objects, including medical gloves. They may also be attracted to people who wear skintight clothing as part of their job, including divers.
Why Bondage?
But why is bondage so alluring? We’re into bondage for a variety of reasons. Play-struggling against restraints can build an exciting adrenaline rush while being blindfolded heightens the senses in the rest of the body. Think of all the times you’ve closed your eyes during a massage – feels much better, right?